white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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