In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i came on her dog
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
