3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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