hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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