Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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