He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
