u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
