I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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