Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
