i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
