We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
