In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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