we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dick very happy bro
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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