Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
