I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
