Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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