its not stalking. its research.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
