I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
