First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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