My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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