i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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