i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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