Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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