Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
