margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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