Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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