You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
