my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Panties = found
Randomize
