I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
