oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
