I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
