So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
