he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
