It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i think i just lost a toe
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
