I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
