i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
