If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
