We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
