I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
