found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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