So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
