No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
