I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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