i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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