Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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