I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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