How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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