I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
