But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
