what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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